Thursday, October 16, 2014

Day 145: Relationships

I don't know how to say what I'm feeling without sounding completely depressed or making my mom worry so I'll just write and say let this post be published therapy for me. Relationships are hard. Period. I have had one relationship in my life and that was with a girl when I was trying to make my gayness go away. Well, look how well that turned out. Now, that I'm in a gay relationship, I realize it's just as hard if not harder than straight ones. Even more than that, it's extremely difficult to have a relationship in college because of busy schedules. I've always heard people say that they met their spouse in college and now I wonder how that's possible. If you haven't picked up on this fact, my relationship is a little rocky right now but the collegiate facts of life make it impossible to remove the rocks and the mountain in my relationship. I'm not giving up though. Nothing that's truly worth having is ever easy. People that have been married for decades will say countless times that relationships are difficult. They make it through though. Somehow, my boyfriend and I will work things out too. Music heals and has gotten me through the rocks of the relationship. I always follow Babs advice from her duets. She told me to "tell him" how I felt and that started a wonderful relationship, and through the rough times I'll remember "I won't be the one to let go." I fell asleep early tonight and didn't do my blog. When I woke up I saw a saddening text that put a wrench in the communication (don't ask, mom). I know the communication that's needed will happen. It just won't happen on my plan. I just have to trust God and be patient for it. Unfortunately, patience is something I lack. "I finally found someone" and I'll have patience for their communication. We will get through these challenging times and when we do I will shout from the rooftops that "happy days are here again."

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