Day 160: Registration

Today was a very important day in the college semester: registration for the next semester. In the spring I'm taking some awesome classes: History of Western Music II, Piano Lessons, Voice Lessons, Ear Training, Music Theory 102, Pit Orchestra, Performance Forum, and my personal favorite, American Musical Theater II. Even better than the classes themselves is the time of day that they are at. On Monday and Wednesday my classes are 10-12:40 and Tuesday and Thursday from 12:30-3:20. I have the greatest advisor who helped me create my superb schedule. He also teaches AMT. I can't wait to dive into classes next year, but first I have to finish this semester which is going great. I love it here!!!!

Day 159: Do-Re-Mi (Truth)

Today, I discovered what my biggest challenge is going to be while I'm here studying: movable-do solfege singing. For non-music readers, the best way to explain what that is, is through the classic do re mi song in the sound of music. Rodgers and Hammerstein make it seem so simple but apply it to sight singing and it's not just a pleasant little ditty anymore; it's a total pain in the ass. It also doesn't help that I have perfect pitch. I look at the music and know what it sounds like. I can sing the correct notes on la but make me match random syllables to it and I'm all over the place. Solfege was created to help people find pitches. If I don't need it to help me why can't I just sing correct notes on la? Well, since I'll have to deal with solfege, I'll just have to practice and face the challenge. However, I will say this, do re mi and so on is definitely not for me. Goodnight.

Day 158: Simple (Truth)

I'm applying the K.I.S.S. principle tonight by only having three sentences, besides this one. The Crucible is going great. I'm excited to register for spring classes. I love it here!!!!

Day 157: The Pit (Truth)

One of the things I love about doing what I do is the family. Most people just have one family, but I have dozens of families. Every time I work on a show, a new family is built that lasts a lifetime beyond the end of the show's run. There is even a stronger family bond created in the orchestra pit. There is such a sense of camaraderie that the music is that much greater. The group literally becomes one unit instead of just a bunch of people. The conductor becomes just one of the gang and in the best cases is as chill as the younger members. Having this relaxed environment is especially important when working on a serious show like The Crucible. Also, the smaller the pit, the tighter the group. Some people they are lonely in show biz but I don't see how that is possible because there is a family around every corner. The stage, or the theater, isn't lonely. The pit isn't the pits. The pit is the greatest place because it's practically perfect in every way.

Day 155 and 156: Beauty (Truth)

One of the factors that you consider when you're picking a school is whether or not the campus is pretty. When you go on the SU website, you see the landscaping, the quad, the fountains, and the gazebo and you think that it's all photo-shopped and it couldn't possibly look like that in reality. Well, that is not the case with Shenandoah. Autumn is already a pretty time of year and it's especially gorgeous here. It's so pretty you just want to lounge outside and feel the breeze. I did that yesterday in the gazebo and read. (A picture of my view from the gazebo is below). The trees are stunning and the water flows so clear over the rocks. The only things that destroys the beauty is all of the construction but I think it's almost done. Over the tops of the buildings and the construction, you can see the mountains. I think the people were right when they said at convocation that this was the prettiest place on earth. It really makes you want to walk around singing "For the Beauty of the Earth." I love it here. The second photo is when a church friend came to visit my beautiful campus.

Day 154: Songs, Songs, Songs (Truth)

One of the phenomenal things about the accompanying program here is the fact that they make you experience accompanying and what you are accompanying. You have to learn both sides of the piano to be well rounded. Therefore I have to take acting and dance. Also, definitely scariest, was voice lessons. I started day one telling my voice teacher I don't sing and I have a range of two notes. Week one homework was saying hi at different pitches. I needed to understand that singing really is just sustained talking on pitch. Once I realized this, she let me sing and miraculously this big voice came out. One day, we were practicing my song and she screamed out stopping me, where did that come from. Do it again and don't change anything. Apparently, I was naturally lowering my larynx creating more space for air and sound. I don't know much about singing but in one half of a semester I have learned so much. I've come so far but I've got so far to go. Now though, my teacher is so proud because she sees so much progress and a lot of potential. I can't wait to keep learning because now I realize I have a song in my heart and in addition to playing it I may be able to sing it to. Goodnight.

Day 153: Blogs, Blogs, and Blogs (Truth)

Because I have had so many blogs, there are some days when I don't know what to write about. This is one of those days so I will skip to my closing. Goodnight.

Day 152: Books, Books, Books (Truth)

I normally don't read because it can be a little boring but I've determined recently the key to reading and enjoying it. You have to read what you enjoy. Find a genre you like or a topic you want to learn about and read. I promise there's a book on everything. There are billions of books. Because of how awesome our library is here, I got some great books on American musical theater. I'm a third of the way into the first one and it's fascinating. It's called sing out Louise. It's about the stars of musical theater over the past century. Most people think I'm weird that I would read that for leisure but oh well, I enjoy it. Also, it will keep me occupied in the pit next week during my off time playing in the crucible. Now that I can peacefully know that my blog is caught up, I will go to sleep. Goodnight.

Day 151: Busy, Busy, Busy (Truth)

I'm so busy that sometimes my blogs get behind. That's college for you. Busy schedules, caffeine, and minimal sleep.

Day 150: SU is the place to 'B' (Truth)

Today, a lot of my SU experience has been related to Bs. Luckily, not bees like bumblebees but bees as in the letter. Everything I experienced today started with a b. Bach, Breakfast, Beethoven, a Barbara Cook, Bone Marrow, Barbra Streisand, burgers, Bea Arthur, and Breaking Bad. My day started by deeply analyzing my tone production when playing Bach in my piano lesson. I had breakfast. In music history, we thoroughly discussed Beethoven, his life and his music. When I played for voice lessons, the students were singing songs that Barbara Cook, broadway legend, made famous. There was a fundraiser that I was involved in playing for that was swabbing samples to find a bone marrow match for a special young man with cancer on campus. No day here would be complete without Babs. She's in a project I'm working on right now and I have to listen to her daily. I had a burger for dinner. Lastly I finished my day with the golden girls starring Bea Arthur and another "B" actress, Betty White. Also, I watched Breaking Bad, my new action tv series I'm hooked on. Now that I've had an awesome day that would get a better grade than a b, I be tired lol. It's time for Bed. Goodnight.

Day 148 and 149: Delightful Distractions (Truth)

Every once in a while, your life can be so consumed with stress and chaos that you need something to take you away from it all for a little while. Whether it be a much needed nap, a bubble bath, a play, a concert, a puzzle, or a move, we are all entitled to an occasional distraction. They keep our little bits of sanity intact. This weekend I figured I deserved a distraction, so I went to the movies. In Winchester, there is a place called The Alamo Drafthouse. It's a movie theater with a bar in the main lobby/ticket booth area. I thought I was going to just see a movie but I realized that they put the dinner in dinner theater. While it's not as cool as a drive in movie theater, which probably doesn't even exist anymore, they are a full service restaurant during the movie. Each row of seats has a counter in front of it and a server brings you a menu during the preshow (cartoons and short films with a topic related to the feature film) and before or during the film you write your order and put it in the front of the counter like a flag. They'll see it and quietly take it before or during the film. Then during the film they bring you your dinner, snack, etc. and you relax and enjoy. It can continue like this as much as you want. Thirty minutes before the film ends they bring the check so you can pay and leave right at the credits and not wait after the film. It's an awesome experience and a wonderful way to spend an evening. I will have to treat myself with another distraction there soon but for now I will go back to reality. Class in the morning. Goodnight.

Day 147: Live. Laugh. Love. (Truth)

The title of this blog is a common phrase you see now in shadow box framework or as mantle pieces but for my blog I'm going to reword it to my love to laugh helps me live through the rough times. I've always been told that laughter is the best medicine. After yesterday I needed a huge dose of that therapeutic medicine. I woke up today and the sun was out. Like Irving Berlin said, "it's a lovely day today." My sister Krista shared some funny things about tall people problems on Facebook today. One of the best on there was that shower heads should be called shower chests. I can relate to that especially using this small hotel shower everyday. My favorite TV show is The Golden Girls and no matter how many times I watch the series (I have all of the seasons on DVD) I always laugh hysterically as if I've never seen it. I'm laughed out I think and my abs hurt from laughing so hard. I can't wait to move on from the last two weeks, start school anew for the second half, and living through laughter and love. The only love I need right now is from my family and my awesome friends. They are the ones that are my support system and make me laugh. They make me want to sing from the rooftops, "thank you for being a friend."

P.S. The two previous blogs were for my journal therapy purposes. They aren't meant to be read and if they are read not be taken seriously or causing worry. It's an emotional release of my thoughts for a rough day. So now, to distinguish the two, I will either put Therapy or Truth. Truth are the legit blog posts meant to be read and understanding of my college adventures. I will continue to publish the personal therapy ones because then it releases into the wide clouds of the internet instead of having a journal where I'll always see the emotional thoughts of the rough days in a book. In the future, the blogs will be distinguished but the majority will be truth as opposed to therapy.

Day 146: The Break-Up

There was a movie about 8 years ago called the break-up. It was a terrible film. The only thing worse than that film is what it was about. As you could probably imagine just from the title of this post, my boyfriend broke up with me today. I won't share many details; I will just say he wasn't ready to be in a relationship. Break-ups suck. There is no better way to say it. Even if it's for the best, it hurts. I have mixed responses to this breakup. I can be depressed and sob into a pillow cursing all men in the world and thinking that having a college relationship is impossible. That's the glass half empty view on life but then there is also the glass half full outlook which is to just let it go and move on thinking that there are other fish in the sea. I could even look at it as a blessing in disguise as God is trying to tell me I'm not ready for a relationship or have me just slow my emotional gears and direct them to mental gears for school. Don't get me wrong, school will always be priority but I have to be careful that this break-up doesn't affect it. Because I have to face the reality that break-ups suck but still want to have a positive outlook on the situation I have decided to follow the advice that Maria gives liesl in the sound of music in regards to broken relationships: "well, you cry a little, and you wait for the sun to come up; it always does." That's such great advice. So tonight I will cry a little and listen to heartbreak, sappy love songs and then wait for the sun. Hopefully, it'll be sooner than later because from a literal perspective it's been raining a lot here. For now though, I'm gonna cry. Joy, I'll be waiting for you because the Gaithers said that you (joy) come in the morning. And when the joy comes, the sun will come out, because as Maria said, it always does. Goodnight.

Day 145: Relationships

I don't know how to say what I'm feeling without sounding completely depressed or making my mom worry so I'll just write and say let this post be published therapy for me. Relationships are hard. Period. I have had one relationship in my life and that was with a girl when I was trying to make my gayness go away. Well, look how well that turned out. Now, that I'm in a gay relationship, I realize it's just as hard if not harder than straight ones. Even more than that, it's extremely difficult to have a relationship in college because of busy schedules. I've always heard people say that they met their spouse in college and now I wonder how that's possible. If you haven't picked up on this fact, my relationship is a little rocky right now but the collegiate facts of life make it impossible to remove the rocks and the mountain in my relationship. I'm not giving up though. Nothing that's truly worth having is ever easy. People that have been married for decades will say countless times that relationships are difficult. They make it through though. Somehow, my boyfriend and I will work things out too. Music heals and has gotten me through the rocks of the relationship. I always follow Babs advice from her duets. She told me to "tell him" how I felt and that started a wonderful relationship, and through the rough times I'll remember "I won't be the one to let go." I fell asleep early tonight and didn't do my blog. When I woke up I saw a saddening text that put a wrench in the communication (don't ask, mom). I know the communication that's needed will happen. It just won't happen on my plan. I just have to trust God and be patient for it. Unfortunately, patience is something I lack. "I finally found someone" and I'll have patience for their communication. We will get through these challenging times and when we do I will shout from the rooftops that "happy days are here again."

Day 144: Fall Break

It's been an interesting, long weekend. We had fall break, but unlike a normal break, it was Friday to Tuesday. We were encouraged to go home or we would have to pay 25 dollars to stay. Gas to drive home or a plane ticket would have cost more than that so I stayed. Luckily, mom came to visit. In actuality and honesty, a cleaning fairy godmother came to visit. She helped me restore my room to its original condition and I could not be more grateful because I was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted after the first half of the semester, midterms and coming out. Hopefully, I can apply all the review mom taught me and keep it looking as good as she has it now. That's a big hopefully but we will see what happens. I love my mom and am so appreciative that she came to visit with a cleaning aim. Sadly, I won't see her again until Christmas break. Thank God for FaceTime and Skype and other visual technology. Well, classes resume tomorrow so I need sleep. Goodnight. Happy fall.

Day 143: Babs goes to the Movies

If I haven't said it before, I'm OBSESSED with Barbra Streisand! That being said again, while my mom was here we had Babs movie night each evening. Some films were better than others and there are some that I still need to see. The Way we Were was slightly disappointing because it didn't go anywhere and it gives away the song at the beginning. Funny Girl has never been one of my favorites but has some of her most famous songs. It's just a little too slow paced for my movie musical taste. The Prince of Tides just went straight over my head. I didn't understand it at all. It definitely was not your typical romance. I saw The Guilt Trip and it's hilarious. It's her most recent film. My favorite Barbra film that I've seen so far though is The Mirror has two Faces. It's one of those movies that you wouldn't mind seeing again. I highly recommend it. I still am working on seeing What's up Doc, The Main Event, Nuts, The Owl and the Pussycat, Meet the Fockers, Meet the Parents, On a Clear Day...., and Yentl. She can act, produce, direct, and of course sing. She is brilliant and I'm OBSESSED!

Day 141 and 142: Support

Sorry for the late blogs; it's been a crazy weekend with mom in town (more on that later). This weekend was a huge weekend for the LGBT community. Saturday was national coming out day. I couldn't wait for Saturday so I came out on Wednesday. I hope all of the people that came out on Saturday got all of the love and support that I did. I posted it on my blog and on my Facebook after putting that I was in a relationship with a guy. That was at night and the next morning, my phone was blowing up with emails, comments, and messages of love, support, and acceptance. Coming out is one the most difficult things for a LGBT person. Mine was much easier than I ever could have hoped. I was so worried about my church's response but they sent just as much love as my theater friends. I know some of the church people that still love and support me may think it's different or feel uncomfortable by it but the love and support is more than I could have ever dreamed of. It brings me to tears to think that the internal struggle of acceptance is past and now it's all out there. I love you all. Thanks for your support.

Day 140: Half-Way

Well, on this 140th day, I have made it to the half way mark of my first semester at SU. I have had wonderful week of midterms, acing all of them. My classes are great, my lessons are extraordinary, my friends are so cool, and my professors are brilliant. I have never learned as much in a school setting as I have in the past couple of months. I'm far from home and days here aren't always easy. Life here is the real deal. When I start my career, I'll be ready because this school is preparing me. I can't say enough wonderful things about this school. The time is flying by too quickly. To help me celebrate fall break, my mom came to visit. I can't wait to spend the weekend with her cleaning, catching up, showing her campus, etc. I can't wait to see what the second half of the semester has in store. In store for this evening is sleep. Goodnight.

Day 139: Cool as The Crucible

Arthur Miller wrote a famous play about the Salem Witch Trials called the Crucible. While it is not a cool subject matter, working on the show musically is cool as... well.. cool as the crucible. (I've never understood the expression cool as a cucumber). Dr. Genius Albert wrote incredible incidental music to underscore the dramatic action of the play. He wrote it twenty years ago for an eleven piece orchestra and has now made an alternate orchestration for four people. It's the most hauntingly beautiful music I've ever heard. What's even more incredible is having the experience of the composer conduct you and explain what he wants with the music and what he heard, imagined, and felt when he wrote it. There was one cool moment when I was trying to get the sound he wanted using different pedal techniques I've learned from classical playing and he shouted out of nowhere, that's it, that's the sound. It's that aha moment like that which makes the experience thrilling and cool as the crucible.

Day 138: Coming Out

I'm going to try to make this as close to my Facebook post as possible but it might be slightly different. Same message though. I am in a relationship with Josh Mahannah. In case that statement or interested in men on Facebook isn't obvious, I'm gay. I've known since second grade that I was different. It's a hard thing to come to terms with but josh has made me so happy that I just want to tell the world. Some people might disown me but I have to remind them that I was gay when I played for the family funeral, I was gay when I moved you to tears, I was gay when I was the church pianist. I love Jesus and He loves me. That's all that matters. I don't need to discuss the politics of gay marriage because I respect other opinions. This weekend is important because of national coming out day. I couldn't wait for Saturday so I'm doing this today. I didn't choose to be gay. Theater and this school didn't make me gay. It's just me. I'm gay and that's all there is too it. I won't shove it in your face but I realize the truth to the famous Jerry Herman lyric. Life's not worth a damn till you can say, hey world, I Am What I Am.

Day 137: Silence

So, I just realized that last nights blog didn't post so here it is. In music, rests are as, if not more than, important as the music. Quiet is necessary when needing spiritual time. That was the theme of Sundays church service. One of the wise, funny lines in The King and I is when Anna receives a gift and says I don't know what to say. The King replies "when one does not know what to say it is time to be silent." That's how I am tonight. (Silence).

Day 136: Meditation on a Mediation

In life there will always be that one person you don't get along with. Sometimes it's in your personal life, your family, or your work place. Sometimes it's in your elementary school and sometimes it's in your nursing home. Either way we experience, it's an obstacle we have to deal with. I dealt with my person this summer and after big blowouts and serious conclusions I find myself at a door that's been wedged open and is stuck. I needed closure from a situation. I thought talking to that person again would help but then through writing this as therapy homework (so don't over analyze this post) I realize what I needed from the mediation that I can find internally: happiness and an ability to communicate. I was never unhappy, more sad that someone had come along that didn't like me. I needed that realization though that not everyone would. In terms of communication, I learned how by learning how not to communicate. God brings something good out of all situations. I learned so much from an enemy based relationship and now that I have this new knowledge I can finally close the door and move on. There's only one problem. Now that I know how to communicate I can't try again with or apologize to that person but I will use that longing remind me how to properly communicate in the future. If the reader needs to get something from this blog, don't think I'm depressed, this is therapy for me and also communication is so very important. As I conclude this I will begin to remove my hand from the closing door and let it go. It's time to move on because when The Lord closes a door, some way he opens a window. My window for this evening is sleep. Goodnight.

Day 134 and 135: Mother knows Best

In the mid-50s there was a show called "Father knows Best." If it had been modern times it could've represented the truth that mother knows best. People don't realize it until they don't have their mothers there all the time. Luckily, without realizing it, they teach us so much and we learn so when we go out on our own we will survive. My mom taught me how to stay clean, how to stay healthy, how to do laundry, how to be assertive, how to eat out well, how to manage money, how to be cultural, how to love, etc etc etc. I went to the store the other day to help someone pick out the tv equipment she needed and I just marched through the store like I owned it and asked where things were. We were out of there in five minutes. She said she had never seen someone shop like that and I said that was my mom. When people get on to me about glasses or talks about overspending money, I think of mom. I miss my mom all the time. I'm a serious mommas boy and there is nothing wrong with that. While our cord that tied us at home is now cut our cord of love will last forever and extends over all 650 miles. I'm so glad she is visiting this weekend. Everyday should be Mother's Day but since it's not when you're done reading this, call your mom and say thank you and I love you. If they are in Heaven, they know it, especially when you apply their lessons. Mothers really do know best. Moms and love make the world go round. I love my mom and can't wait to see her Friday but until then Goodnight my someone goodnight.

Day 133: TGIF

Something that's generally always true about college life is that Friday is the easy day. I think that is true in all walks of life. When you're a kid everyday is Friday life is easy. In high school Friday night represents the movies or a football game at school. College Friday means a party for some but for me it means limited class load. My only responsibility on Friday is my voice lesson. The rest of the day I can be as lazy as I want. Also on Fridays there is usually a concert of some sort going on. For example there were three going on tonight in all three performance venues. They were all at the same time and it's impossible to choose which to go to. I was taking advantage of my lazy day today and didn't go to any of the ones tonight. However I'm making up for that by going with a school group to see the national symphony orchestra at the Kennedy center tomorrow night. I have a big weekend ahead so I shall now say goodnight.

Day 132: No Post

I had a date last night which is why there was no post. Tonight's blog will be posted soon.

Day 131: Discovery

I discovered today that the college experience can be defined in one sentence. There is too much to do and not enough time to do it in it. Although, that can sum up all time management of life. As ellen degeneres explains all we have is here and now we don't have any time, we have less time, all we have is here and now, and that's why procrastination feels so right. Now I'm in the position right now that I should practice and want to practice, I just need to find time. Thank God practice rooms are open 24/7. Also people cancel lessons occasionally which gives me extra time. That's the case for tomorrow so I will practice then. For now though, goodnight.